Wednesday, June 9, 2010

brain drain...birthday

So this is where my brain is right now...

I went to get the 'call back' mammogram today. The lovely tech took 2 views and then ran them to the radiologist while I waited.... back for 2 more with a magnifing disc, run those in- but she gave me a magazine to look at... right.... came back and took 3 more.... finally I got to leave... my mind is racing and I have made my own diagnosis in my head. Luckly, my MD is in the same bldg... they know me well and so I ran by and had a chat. I got an Rx for zanax- yep I was shaking in my flip flops... She read the report and had it to me online before I got home...

Seem that my lymph node in the R breast has some issues. I dont get the report. My sister listened as I read itto her on the phone- she an old retired tech- she gets it and tells me that the lymph node has some issues... the radiologist wants to me to come back in 6 mos to see if there is any difference.
HOWEVER, she doesnt know the real me! I will have videos for all the kids milestone, a funeral planned, and various other items prepared. I already have a pounding headache and have 'spazrea'... our family defination for me when I have the runs from being spastic....So I will see a surgeon within a couple of weeks and get an opinion from her. I guess most people could live with the report but I want to know whats there and how to get it out of me....

I know God doesnt give you more than you can handle... but I really dont want to see if I could handle something. I know there are tons of people that would be delighted with this mammogram since the have either stage 3 or 4 cancer. I also know my dad died from cancer at 58, so thats always in the back of my head.. thats why I need to have this decided now and not in 6 mos.

So happy birthday to me and I will eat lots of cake, drink lots of water and take a couple of zanax - or as my sister calls them- my dont give a shit pills!

Keep praying and I will keep you informed!

Tootle loo

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